Twitter makes me insecure.
I think I like it, then I don’t. When people chat back it feels lovely and warm and fuzzy. But at times it has the power to ruin my day.
Life before twitter was reasonably happy.
Now I find myself constantly seeking the approval and acceptance of complete strangers; upset when people I interact with don’t reply to a tweet or follow back; Constantly scared I’ve offended someone.
Upon entering the world of Twitter it felt like I was gatecrashing a party, entering a world of Somebodies where I was an uninvited Nobody. Quite a few months on it still feels like a world of Somebodies where worthiness is measured by the number of followers.
But then it’s not just the strangers, moreover I’m left feeling completely deflated when someone I’ve actually MET, who follows me, doesn’t respond to a direct question. Why? Was it something I said? Did I say it the wrong way?
I’ve found myself creeping into the world of blogging as I think I want a voice too but that is even more daunting. The really great bloggers out there (well in my view) are honest, informed, not scared to voice their opinions and seemingly able to handle criticism. So far my blogs (all grand 5 of them) have been extremely tame. I have complete respect for those who dare to go out their with a strong, controversial opinion and stick to their guns. A backfire of hostile tweets would leave me wanting to leave the country.
But I have started to wonder if I’m alone in my desperately seeking acceptance journey on Twitter? I’m sure I’m not. Recently I saw a (albeit light-hearted) tweet by someone very well known in the blogging world damning emoticons. So I spent a few days trying not to use them for fear of being publicly outed as a ‘moron’, but I know exactly why I and others use them. We want to be sure that our 140 characters are interpreted in the manner in which they were intended because getting it wrong on Twitter can be a painful experience.
So all in all, Twitter, though quietly addictive, is making me a bit of a wreck.
I consider myself a confident person. I have tonnes of close friends, I’m known for being a bit outgoing and being the life and soul so I’m starting to wonder why I’m bothering spending so much time worrying about what total strangers think?!
So why not walk away?
Er.…. Well, thanks to Twitter, I’ve met some great people –some in the virtual sense, some in the flesh; have been introduced to some great blogs – some thought-provoking, some downright hilarious; I’m more on top of current affairs and I do like the chance to meet (nice) strangers. When it’s friendly and responsive, Twitter can lift a dull day, give you somewhere to vent and is like a magazine, bursting with celeb gossip, fantastic ideas and inspiring thoughts. AND it reminds you your favourite TV programme is about to start.
So to conclude, I think I shall stick with it. For now. But I do need to stick to my New Year’s resolution to get a grip, stop being so sensitive and sod those who are unresponsive.
(But it would still make my day if you followed or replied 
)